It was a Saturday and I was in my room, with nothing to do (even though there is much I should be doing; assignments and of course, choosing a text and coming up with a thesis statement for my position paper). So, I try to go online and this time luck was on my side (the wi-fi connection at my hostel block is as inconstant as the petrol price in Malaysia; sometimes I can get online, sometimes I want to smash my laptop and you know why).
I did the usual, responding to forums and writing my blogs. Then I visited Dr Edwin’s blog and I just finished reading two short stories by Dr Edwin; The Kiss and Husband Material. Although I know these two short stories got nothing to do with the prescribed texts for EDU 3234 Readings and Project Work for Teaching Literature in ESL Contexts (which I should be blogging about), but still I would like to blog about the short story Husband Material as I find it interesting.
I try putting myself in Shanti’s shoes; how she is torn apart between social obligations to get married and her own feelings of love towards Indran. In fact, I pity Ravimama too, as he is in the same situation like Shanti, I think Ravimama is in love with Anand but coming from a traditional society, love like that is unheard of and frowned upon.
The situation in the story is complex. Living a life; even your own life in complicated when your life is not your own to live and enjoy. When every decision you make has to be referred to and approved by those people that you respected and called family. Look at Indran for instance, he loves Shanti but in the end since he is indebted to his relatives, he has to oblige and marry their daughter.
One lesson that can be learned from all this is, when you have no career and have to depend on others to make a living, that is when you have to submit to their whims and fancies. If only Indran were a professional with his own career and money, things might have been different for him and Shanti.
I pity Shanti, not only because my feminine side relates to her feelings of rejection by Indran but because I have heard and read many stories like hers before. Trust and love hurt when it is not repaid. Worse, when those trust and love went down the drain, unappreciated and thrown away like a withered rose that won’t bloom anymore.
I wonder whether what Shanti and Ravimama did is what you call love or sacrifice? Is it sacrifice when Shanti still waits and loves Indran even when he is already married and going to America with his wife to further his studies? Is it sacrifice when Indran pretends to be happy with his wife when his heart always belongs to Shanti? Is it sacrifice when Ravimama remains a bachelor even when he knows there is no way for him and Anand to be together?
Marriage and love, rejection and acceptance, social acceptability and individual choices; those are intriguing concepts that bug my mind. I wonder how are we, as future teachers going to teach all these in our literature class…
P/S: If you want to read the short story, please follow this link http://edwinvethamani.com/modules/tinycontent/index.php?id=27
Showing posts with label BIGGER THINGS IN LIFE AND STUFF.... Show all posts
Showing posts with label BIGGER THINGS IN LIFE AND STUFF.... Show all posts
Saturday, January 17, 2009
SACRIFICE & LOVE
After learning The Mahabharata the other day, I was looking for the answer to Dr Edwin’s question; what is the difference between sacrifice and love? I think it would be easier to talk about love first. So, here it is.
I spent my night looking at a poster of the theater “Passion” directed by Joe Hasham which shows a picture of a man and a woman, both of them eyes closed probably lost in the land of lust and of course, passion. I asked myself, is this love? I never knew what love means, romantic love that is, until I was 21. That is when I was first defeated by the power of love. Although I do think that love nowadays is really, really over-rated, but still I hope there is love out there that requires sacrifice. To me, I think that loving someone is not necessarily means to have someone. Loving someone is when you are happy when he is happy, and you are contented when he gets what he wants. Sounds stupid? I think so too, because as human beings, I think it is quite impossible to be that selfless.
As for me, love and sacrifice intertwined. When you love someone, you are willing to give and do everything for him. You put his needs and desires above yourself. His happiness means more than your own. The number one priority in your life is not yourself but him. In a cliché kind of way, he is the last person you think of when you go to bed at night and he is the first person that you think of when you wake up in the morning. All day long, you think about him and wonder what he is doing and whether he is thinking of you too. Although sometimes this feeling and sacrifice are not mutual, but who can help it when you become that “stupid” and willing to give your all even at the expense of your own bliss?
Even though what I have written above is in the context of romantic love; but it can also be applied to Devavrata’s actions to his father, Shantanu. Devavrata obligingly assumes “a fate worse than death”, which is to be sonless in order for his father to marry Satyavati. Devavrata put his father’s happiness above himself and that I think is the best manifestation of sacrifice; when you are willing to be selfless and put the person that you love above everything else, even your own life. It takes a lot of courage to do that, especially in the world that we are living right now; where love and sacrifice has lost their meanings and values.
I spent my night looking at a poster of the theater “Passion” directed by Joe Hasham which shows a picture of a man and a woman, both of them eyes closed probably lost in the land of lust and of course, passion. I asked myself, is this love? I never knew what love means, romantic love that is, until I was 21. That is when I was first defeated by the power of love. Although I do think that love nowadays is really, really over-rated, but still I hope there is love out there that requires sacrifice. To me, I think that loving someone is not necessarily means to have someone. Loving someone is when you are happy when he is happy, and you are contented when he gets what he wants. Sounds stupid? I think so too, because as human beings, I think it is quite impossible to be that selfless.
As for me, love and sacrifice intertwined. When you love someone, you are willing to give and do everything for him. You put his needs and desires above yourself. His happiness means more than your own. The number one priority in your life is not yourself but him. In a cliché kind of way, he is the last person you think of when you go to bed at night and he is the first person that you think of when you wake up in the morning. All day long, you think about him and wonder what he is doing and whether he is thinking of you too. Although sometimes this feeling and sacrifice are not mutual, but who can help it when you become that “stupid” and willing to give your all even at the expense of your own bliss?
Even though what I have written above is in the context of romantic love; but it can also be applied to Devavrata’s actions to his father, Shantanu. Devavrata obligingly assumes “a fate worse than death”, which is to be sonless in order for his father to marry Satyavati. Devavrata put his father’s happiness above himself and that I think is the best manifestation of sacrifice; when you are willing to be selfless and put the person that you love above everything else, even your own life. It takes a lot of courage to do that, especially in the world that we are living right now; where love and sacrifice has lost their meanings and values.
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